I love love love seeking out more wisdom, therefore I listen to podcasts, attend seminars, and read books whenever I can. At a recent seminar, the motivational speaker asked the crowd this question...
"Raise your hand if you are a personal development junkie!
Keep your hand up.
Now out of everyone who has their hand up, how many of you actually apply to your life the lessons, quotes and advice you read or hear?"
70% of the hands go down.
Honest bunch that was...
As a personal trainer and life coach, I could relate that percentage to the percentage of people I have helped who have made a change in their life and kept going with it years later. I used to beat myself up and think it was my fault. However, I realized that everyone is in charge of their own life.
I was recently asked what makes someone actually stick to their intentions and goals.
I had to sit for a while on this one. I realized there were a couple answers:
1. Little Choices Add Up to Big Results:
When you have a goal, you are faced with little choices every single day that can either set you further from your goal or can set you up for success. In our day in age we want instant gratification (that cookie, that tv show, hitting snooze, saying yes to partying, etc) so much that it takes away from our vision of long term achievements (weight loss, healthier mind, more money, etc). In the beginning when setting a goal, you need to stop, evaluate and execute almost every single small decision you make that has an affect on your outcome. This becomes daunting to many people because it forces them to think or act the opposite way to which they are used to living. It is change and change is hard (or your perception of it is hard). However, every time you do this, you are exercising your mind and your mind is becoming stronger. Your mind is the catalyst to change. But it doesn't stop there. Your emotions become involved as well because change triggers something in you that makes you want to shy away from feelings of the unknown.
Face your feelings. Know that making a goal and sticking with it will make you become mentally and emotionally fit first. Than you will be rewarded with the actual physical manifestation of the goal down the road. Your little choices every day matter and add up to large results.
..... However ....
2. Learn To Become A "B Performer"
Perfectionism is the devil. When we strive towards perfection we have an extremely large amount of expectation placed on our every move- which inevitably always will lead to disappointment (then most likely we give up or create some sort of disordered thinking). I always tell my clients that I am an average performer (B performer if you will). A "B performer" allows you to live life with a little slip up here or there without facing feelings of guilt. Or you "treat yourself" every once in a while without compromise. It still gets you to your goals and will allow for a very happy life. Going myself from an A+ performer (that created a very unhealthy environment to live in) to a B performer has been the most valuable thing I have ever done. I still respect myself, my goals and my beliefs enough to get the job done, but I don't choke myself out trying getting myself there anymore.
3. Look Into The Mirror
Looking in the mirror is a saying I use that essentially means, "What are your beliefs about yourself?" Many people fear the outcome of their goal because of a belief they have inside themselves that they are not good enough... or they will never be able to make that goal a reality. They have a fear of messing up, or of change, or not liking the results, therefore they sabotage themselves. Tap into what it is about that goal that frightens you. Your beliefs or past traumas are holding you back and your excuses are the blanket that is keeping you in your comfort zone. Look into the mirror and face that fear daily by "just doing it" or journaling, meditating or talking it through with someone you trust.
3. Time Equals Endurance
Time is going to pass anyway so why don't you make the most out of your life to become happier, healthier and filled with more joy? Time gives us the gift of endurance. We don't have to rush or get what we want right away. The journey is to be treasured. Goal oriented sprinters do not know what cultivating a strong mindset means or how to adjust accordingly to the ebb and flow of life. Endurance creates patience. And patience is a virtue in sticking to your goals.
4. Become A Personal Development Executer
Read books, listen to podcasts, watch documentaries.... but don't just digest them. Execute them. You need a stream of motivation, power and desire hooked up like an IV into your veins. Dial in daily to the wealth of knowledge that is at your finger tips. Personal development has been an absolute game changer for me almost 4 years ago now and that is what keeps me going as well as the desire to succeed!
5. Have A Game Plan
Finally, know that it is important to schedule out your week of action steps. If your goal is to lose weight, schedule in what days you are going to meal plan, workout, and take time to reward yourself for any little goals you hit. You are a priority- your goals are a priority. Think about your work- priorities are always scheduled in like meetings and deadlines... and you make sure that you are prepared. Go about your intentions the same exact way.
I'm giving you the largest pep talk with a fist bump, hug, smack on your butt (whatever works) to rev up your engine and "get after it"!