Jealous Much?


When I was asked to write a Success Secret on jealousy I thought, "hmm, brilliant". Sometimes I get too wrapped up in, "What should I write about?" without asking YOU what you want. So if there is ever a subject you want me to touch on, please ask. After all, these are for you (well, and a little for me. I enjoy writing. Wink.).

So, is it jealousy or envy you are experiencing? These two can get mixed up pretty easily so I wanted to break them down for you:

Jealousy: When you are afraid something you currently posses is going to be taken away from you from an outsider. For example, if you are the number one cheerleader in the squad and a new girl was just recruited (which has the potential to be just as talented as you), you may feel threatened by her. You look her up and down and think that she has the looks, the personality, the strength and flexibility and feel fear as she could take your top spot. You're ultimately feeling jealous that the new girl could take your place and become highlighted by everyone on the team instead of you.

Envy: When you long for something someone has that you don't. For example, say you have always wanted to work for yourself, but let fear hold you back from leaving your nine to five. Your best friend just called you up and told you that she just put in her two week notice from her full time job to become self employed. You immediately wished that you were her and feel envious of her bravery and now new lifestyle.

I hope now it is easier for you to pinpoint which emotion you are feeling so you can tackle it head on in a more focused way.

When you are feeling jealous or envious of another person, you are ultimately sitting in thoughts of fear, lack, comparison, and limiting beliefs. This means that you need more self empowerment in your life. Where can you show up more for yourself?

Self empowerment is gaining clarity within your life, understanding the power you hold, taking control of your life by setting positive goals, and knowing what your boundaries are. Self empowerment embodies self love, self respect and personal responsibility. Too often we look for outside gratification, validation and love. We become bubbly with feel good emotions when others boost our ego with compliments and reward, but become empty and sad when there is no external validation being presented to us. It is important for us to know that the most satisfying, fulfilling and ultimate pride in life is when you respect and love yourself first. There is a constant hum of contentment, gratitude and an inner knowing that you are the one that feeds your soul.

On the other side of the coin, self empowerment means willing to accept responsibility of where you are in your life because of your actions, behaviors and perceptions. By doing this, you will realize you have the ability to empower yourself to change any single thing in your life- if you wish. You are CREATING your every moment.

Here is a great exercise for both emotions:

When you are experiencing jealousy, you are living out of your own perception and illusion, and are assuming a future event will take place out of your negative belief systems about yourself. My advice would be to start changing the beliefs you have about yourself by watering your own garden. Write a list of your strengths and why you are unique instead of trying to twist the core of who you are to bend other's perception of you in ways that just don't jive with your truth and personality. The quote, "Real queens straighten each other's crowns," comes to mind as well. To me, this means to practice compassion and encouragement. Step deeper into the jealousy and kill it with compassion. How can you dissipate these feelings of threat and comparison? Make friends with it. Once you step deeper into those feelings and understand the soul of the person you are jealous of, you will realize they are just like you... and soon those feelings will vanish.

When you are experiencing envy, you are choosing to position your attention on what you do not own. This is created by your ego and the ego focuses a ton on what is lacking. Your soul focuses on what is thriving and creates magic by positive, high vibrational thoughts. It seems like mediation, sitting in the present of who you are, what you have, and how you can be grateful for everything you currently posses is in order. What you appreciate, appreciates. I believe you have everything in your possession that you need for a specific reason and if it is not there, then there is a reason for that too. Practice gratitude and allow things to come to you when the time is right.

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