Mike and I try to go on a date night once a month and we just recently went out to dinner together. We got on the topic of how we have individually changed since having Wesley eight and a half months ago and as I was talking, I was surprised by how many different shifts I have made in my life- for the better.
-I find joy in the simplest things again. I need to think on a baby's level in order to play with him so I naturally imagine more and look for laughter and excitement in the smallest things. I in turn, find my self being happier most of the time and just can not stand his little laugh. My heart is swollen.
-I created more boundaries within my personal life. Now I only have so much time to be just "Julie" in my personal life and one of those times means going out with friends. Before saying yes to anything at all, I have to naturally check with Mike first or find a babysitter. This has organically helped me shed some layers that I felt weren't serving me in certain areas of my life before. Not that I use my baby as an excuse to disengage from certain people or situations, but I have a greater reason to stay home and only do things that light my soul on fire now.
-I created more boundaries in my business. Now I work only when Wesley naps, is at daycare (currently twice per week) or when Mike gets home from work, therefore I am not available at all times of the day/night as I used to allow myself to be for work- which was actually super draining looking back. Everything was about work to me. Personally, I am surprised I used to be that way even after I reconstructed my practice away from the gym. That was not healthy for my mental health or even relationship with Mike, but I couldn't see through the fog. Admittedly, I do sometimes wonder how I am going to get through my work load as my time is cut short, but it always happens. Always. I just have to be smarter and manage my time better.
-My task list has become longer, but I do things faster. Obviously my task list has become longer because I am responsible for another human, but I never realized how great of a multi-tasker I could be until I was forced to be one. It took a little while to understand how to juggle myself and a baby, but I figured it out... one day and step at a time. It may just mean not chatting on the phone with your friend while you are getting ready for the day and more like sweating bullets dressing yourself and a baby that doesn't understand, "STRAIGHTEN YOUR LEG!!!" while on a schedule. I am laughing typing this out because I sweat so much now with all the baby crap I lug around everywhere and hoping I get to where I need to be on time with a boy who moves at his own speed- que the constant flipping over while trying to change his diaper!
-I released some of my perfectionist tendencies and it feels so good. I no longer worry about little things, try to fit all my workouts in each week, read an email ten times before I send it out, make sure the house is always spick and span every second of the day, etc. There is no time nor energy to comb over every single detail at home, hit every target with my workouts, and be an A plus boss babe. I have a little one slung across my hip who needs my love and attention all day and I have to say... I am loving what he is teaching me.
-I have more compassion. I was on the phone the other day with my husband and while we were talking away, Mike informed me that he drove passed a billboard with a picture of a little kid on it. He was missing from his family and they were calling out for help. Both of our hearts dropped. Not that I have a black heart and wouldn't have cared before I had a child myself, but because I connect on such a deeper level with humanity now and see so many different perspectives. My empathy is through the roof- I can cry over any little thing, and seem to be super sensitive of what mothers endure now. It is something else. Phew.
Thank you, Wesley Thomas, for teaching me more about life and helping me release things that I have wanted to all along, but didn't know how. I know this is only the beginning of you teaching me things and I am all eyes and ears. oxox